Answer: No one gives a flying fuck but you.
Telling people your resolutions for the new year is on par with telling people about a dream you had last night. It didn't really happen, it never will happen, it's completely unbelievable, and it's boring as hell without a plot or twist or anything to make me want to care. It's always the same stupid shit.
The dictionary says:
res·o·lu·tion
[rez-uh-loo-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun | 2. | a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something. |
That's all it is. A determination. I mean, some people are determined to learn how to fly with imaginary wings, but it still ain't gonna happen.
So, in lieu of a list of resolutions that I know won't get fulfilled and you could care less about, I've decided to come up with another list.
If you've kept up with this blog, you've seen that 2007 has been a crazy year for me. I grew up a lot, I learned a lot, and I fucked up a ton. But fun was had and I'm still not preggers, so that's always a good thing.
To commemorate this year that I sometimes wish I could forget and other times I wish I could relive, I'm compiling the following:
MY TOP 10 GOOD AND BAD MOMENTS OF 2007
10. Bad - Having Two Awesome Friends Move to New York: There's nothing like meeting two of the funnest, most outgoing, spectacular girls ever only to have them move to NYC within 2 months of meeting them. While I was able to squeeze in plenty of play times (and a few stolen girl kisses), it's still sad to know that some awesome drinking buddies are hundreds of miles away. It's hard enough to make girl friends without the drama and these two were exactly what I needed. I miss you guys (you know who are you!) Visits to be planned once I find a job.
9. Good - Increasing my Friend Base by 100 Fold: I started this summer by kicking off my birthday at my favorite bar. Two people showed up. One of my best friends and a dude I had met the week before (the rebound.) Not one of my better birthdays. But by September I had tripled my close girlfriends and had met at least 30 people thanks to a great Chicago bike community. I still keep in touch with most of them and continue to meet new people week by week via these great folks and other ways. I thank 2007 for introducing me to so many wonderful new friends.
8. Bad - Working in Sales: I didn't really know what I was getting into. I heard the word advertising newspaper and all that flashed before my eyes was parties and glamour and the hottest and the freshest. In reality, I ended up crying almost every Sunday because I didn't want to go back to that place on Monday. It was good to learn that I hate that field but dammit if I'm still not pissed that it took away 2 months of my life. And possibly caused my bike wreck.
7. Good - Being Sexually Free: In May, I found myself having only been with two people and having "seriously dated" even less. Put that with my lack of friends and I was a sad sack, indeed. I mean, I was 22 and it was 2007. Time to show off the goodies. And boy did I. I was safe and I had a ton of fun. I felt confident, I snagged some incredibly attractive boys, and I had a great time (sometimes in parks, other times on tables.) While it was only a few months long, I'm glad I got to sow my wild oats, as it may be. While I may have just now found someone I want to be exclusive with, I wouldn't have known that if I hadn't have gone buck wild, literally, all summer/fall.
6. Bad - Breaking Someone's Heart: It had been over 6 months in the making and it was the perfect time and I had to do it but it doesn't mean it still didn't hurt a lot. This was the only time in my life where I broke up with someone and it physically and emotionally hurt me as well. To look in someone's eyes, hear it in their voice, that they were fucking DYING because of what you did to them. Most people I know have had their heart broken. I haven't. But not many people will admit to breaking someone's else's heart and having it effect them in almost the same way. He knows who he is, we are on good terms now (finally) but it was a hard lesson that I'm glad I learned.
5. Good - Graduating College: College was more like "High School- The Later Years" for me. It was part two of a never ending hell that was more work than fun. I didn't make friends, I didn't drink a bunch, and I never went to a keggar. But to know that I finished, I earned a degree, and my grandma and parents got to see me walk across that stage (even if I hate the major I earned it in) is still an accomplishment. Mostly since I'm the first person, out of children and grandchildren, to get a degree. I know if anyone is proud of me, my grandma is.
4. Bad - One Night Stand: It was a mistake. They always are. I mean, who would stand up and say "I seriously wanted just a one night stand with this crazy ass"? Well, besides total douchebag dudes. I would never have admitted it, but I did it because I was jealous and I wanted him to see that I didn't care. Only, instead he saw me as some crazy jealous bitch who sleeps with anybody and drinks way too much. I ended up with a lot of bruises, being late to work for the first and last time, and a notch on my bed post I didn't expect to be there. He still sometimes texts me looking for a booty call. But it was one night only. No repeats.
3. Good - Living on My Own: I lived with my parents for 20 years. I spent 4 months in a house with a gay youngin' and an older clean freak. I killed almost two years living with my then boyfriend. After getting out of school, dumping the dude, I decided to focus on me and live alone. While I can barely afford it and I'm def living paycheck to paycheck (or simply on my savings) I could not ask for a better situation. It's all mine, it's all me, and nobody asks questions or judges me. In fact, I live cleaner alone than I did when living with other people. Not that that is saying much. And there is something to be said for not having roommates. And that is : SEX ALL OVER THE HOUSE. AS LOUD AS I WANNA BE. I feel bad for my upstairs neighbor. But not that bad.
2. Bad - Breaking My Wrist: I have never broken a bone. I thought I broke a toe once. I might have, who knows, I never went to the doctor. But I officially fucked up my wrist. Fractured scaphoid in a freak accident that makes me sound like the worst cyclist in the world. After 8 hours in the ER, at least four trips to the clinic (each lasts a minimum of 4 hour), 3 months in 4 different casts, my wrist is now super small, my thumb is pretty much useless and typing is about all I can do. I don't know if I'll ever get all my strength back or how long it will take. It scares me but if I continue to live life feeling sorry for myself because of an ACCIDENT, I'll miss all the fun. That includes drinking.
1. Good - Taking 2.5 Weeks and $4000 to See Australia and Fiji: Sure I wish I had that money now and sure I should have spent more time/visited more places. But I have seen Bondi Beach in Sydney. I have snorkeled and SCUBA dived at the Great Barrier Reef. I have seen Flinders Street Station in Melbourne. I have gotten a massage by a native Fijian woman in a cave off a beach in 95 degree, gorgeous, sunny weather. I have spent 14 hours on one airplane. Next up is Europe. By 2010, I will have backpacked my way through at least 3 continents.
Creating this list was hard. I switched things around a few times, realized how grateful I am for many, and ultimately saw that my last year of living was actually pretty great. I didn't have much to complain about even though I did a lot of it. I experienced amazing things, met some amazing people, and in the end, I'm not that much fatter or uglier, even though I think I am.
But don't worry. I'm not totally changed.
I'm still the bitter, cynical old hag who can't believe how many white hairs she has at her young age.
So Cheers to 2008.
May I get so hammered tonight that I don't even realize what century it is until January 2nd.
Cheers to you!
And please ride and drive safely.
