For-ev-er

So, because I am yuppie republican when it comes to my cash, I've opened up a special savings account type dealio for my next tattoo.

I want two more tattoos. I know the location on my body and kind of what they will be of, but when it comes to artwork specifics, I am kind of totally clueless since I can barely draw a stick figure.

But telling people you are saving money for a tattoo really only flies with one group of people - people who have tattoos.

Everyone else will wonder why this money is not going towards a hedge fund or something (honestly, I always think of a bush in front of some nice house in the suburbs when I hear that phrase.)


Most people pull the whole "that shit is PERMANENT! what is it going to look like when you are 80 years old?!"

First off. NOBODY besides Raquel Welch and maybe that bitch who talks shit about the red carpet will look "good" when they are 80 (and I use that term loosely.)

Getting old means getting wrinkles, gaining weight, and generally not being considered sexy. And unless you got tats on your forearms, nobody will probably see any body art since you don't see grandma's generally wearing booty shorts, belly shirts, and halter tops.

I mean, you could argue that getting old is not a choice, yet tattoos are a choice.

Ok, well then why does body art still have a social taboo while plastic surgery and botox do not ?

I mean, it's not 100% socially acceptable to get plastic surgery. I mean, we will make fun of you behind your back when you show up to work the next day with hooters the size of watermelons, but you will still get a job.
It's not like your potential boss will take one look at your chest at an interview and say "yeah, that's not natural. You can go apply at some local coffeehouse with those ginormous things."
In fact, he'll probably say "YOU'RE HIRED! And here, why don't you go get me some coffee and oh, I dropped my pen, could you pick that up for me too?"

It's an odd double standard.
Both procedures cost a fair amount of money, involve a good amount of pain, and in the end, you have altered your appearance.

Yet if you get a tattoo, you are "defacing" your body.
If you get your nose bone shaved, you are simply "enhancing" your body.


And while my mom likes to throw out the whole "What happens when you get married and your have to buy a dress and your tattoos show?"

That's like saying "what happens when it gets hot and you have to wear shorts and your upper thighs show?"

It's a part of who I am. I like it and I don't care. And besides, it's hot.

So I will continue to save money for tattoos which I think will be beautiful.

But I'll never spend a dime on plastic surgery or botox.


I'd rather the fat from my ass stay there and not move to a new location in my lips.