White Picket Fence

Every 3-6 months I sit back, look at myself, and think "damn, I was fucking stupid back then."
By back then, I'm referring to 3-6 months ago.

This has been a constant thing since I hit my teens years.
I'll look back at something I did or said or wore and be amazed at my stupidity.

But when it comes to my views of the future, those remain fairly constant.

I know that I will never drink coffee.
I know that I will never agree with right-wing nutjobs.
And I know that I don't want a mini-van or a baby stroller or to end up like my parents.

Or so I thought.


9 months ago, I was writing here saying how I had never felt so free and how I was going to travel far and wide and how I didn't have to get the hybrid car in the 'burbs.

This weekend, I visited a friend in Wilmington, NC. There, she lives with her boyfriend in an adorable two bedroom house with a yard. They have a mini-van but she still rides her bike most places. They walk to a small downtown area with local clothing stores and wine shops and they are a mere 30 minutes from the beach. She buys vintage furniture and she is amazingly happy.

And dammit if I didn't get to thinking.




I still want to travel and see the world, but I also want to have my own home space that I can decorate and keep clean and NOT have to deal with two messy male roommates.

I love the city life but I'd also love a front porch.

Kids annoy the living hell out of me but dammit if my mom and grandmothers pleading eyes don't make me question my own uterus.


Now the girl who once wanted nothing more than to put everything in storage and backpack for a year kind of wants to plant a garden in her own backyard.
The girl who once felt liberated because she was single, now feels more at home with her boyfriend.

But perhaps in 3-6 months, I will look back and laugh at this.
A silly girl with silly ideas.