My mind doesn't have a straight path, it's more of a winding road with several side streets.
I think too much.
When I have the time, when I'm not busy doing something else, my brain goes 120mph.
The thoughts always turn negative.
Why am I not doing this? Why did I eat so much? Why don't I work out more? Why don't I have a solid career? Why am I not outside?
Why do I not appreciate anything?
But I'm realizing that ya know what?
I'm really lucky.
And sometimes, I just need to write down, say outloud, do something to remind myself of how lucky I am.
Remind myself of the fun I've had.
Remind myself of the love given to me.
Quick recap of my weekend. Simple days full of fun and love.
Friday - dinner with the boy, drinks with his friend, karaoke with too much booze.
Saturday - brunch and a movie with the boy, a headache stopped me from going out but the boy was most understanding.
Sunday - farmers market and homemade lunch with the boy, followed by fun at the corn maze with 4 other couples, finished with beer and snacks at Rocking Horse.
Monday - day off with shopping, knitting, working out, ending with a 6 course beer dinner with the boy that was probably one of the best meals I've ever eaten.
Yet I sat and felt bad.
Felt bad that I ate an entire oven pizza on Saturday.
Upset that I sat inside and knit instead of riding around when the weather was hitting 60 on Monday.
Why do I do this to myself? Only think of the negative?
I must remind myself to find something good in every day.
Even those days where I just work, come home, work out, eat and sleep. There will always be something good.
Perhaps I got a funny email.
Or my boyfriend made me dinner.
Or the trees looked pretty on the way home.
I must find and remember this good things. Because I've had enough regrets, and it's about time I remember the past as a good thing.
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